So, it's been quite awhile or maybe only a short amount of time since you thought this person could be 'the one' for you, but in any case it's ended and caused you enough heartache to look to websites for help. Assuming she ended it with you, the first step is to realize things have changed and that means his feelings towards you have changed. There is no longer a need to wonder what you can do to 'convince' her to love you again. There is no need to call her and no need to continue to be her friend unless you feel you can do that without dying a little inside each time. You're probably right in assuming she will miss you. She won't miss you until you move on though because until then you continue to be an option for her. Sex will not make her love you. Do not offer a commitment free sex relationship in order to keep her in your life. No one is worth that.
Why do you like this girl so much? Have you ever felt this about someone before, honestly? Do you feel that without her you are alone? Do you feel that no one else will find you attractive? Why are you afraid to let go?
These are a few questions to spend some time on.
You are worth something. You deserve someone who loves you unconditionally. You could have someone who doesn't play silly games with your heart and someone who would die before even thinking about letting you go. Sometimes the worst of events are blessings in disguise.
And take comfort in the fact that everyone at one point or another has felt exactly what you are feeling. It doesn't last forever ...
10 TIPS TO FINALLY LET GO
Getting over relationships are never easy. You always have that friend that thinks it should be a piece of cake. I'm that friend. I hate to see people dwell over something that ended for a reason, whether right or wrong. The fact of the matter is that it is over, but that doesn't mean that your life is.
Here are some ways to help get over your failed (sorry, but it's true) relationships.
- 1. Stop analyzing it. Hindsight is a bitch. Yes, if you had known, if they would have said, if you would have done... The what if's and maybe's are all good and nice if you want to sit there in the dark, eating your feelings, and sobbing to the music of James Blunt.
- 2. Soul mates are in black and white movies. Romanticism is beautiful. Whirlwind movie affair relationships are exactly that. These days it's getting hard to spin relationships and make them like that of Romeo and Juliet. Think about it, with this internet revolution of dating, the term soul mate has lost a lot of it's umph. Is it dreamy to tell your story of love when you became obsessed with a private profile's picture, so much so that you added them as a friend to find out more? It's not. A lot of venues have lost their romantic statuses, war (gotta love the women left behind, check out the divorce rate in the military), trains (long distance relationships, endearing, but unrealistic all the same), let's face it, we always meet our soul mates, and trust me, there are more when you part.
- 3. Putting up with other peoples relationship successes. Sure you come across those few that like to elaborate a little bit on the dramatics of their seemingly romantic relationship, and to keep your sanity I will provide you some options. Number one, poke holes in the parts they try to skip over. Even if there's nothing to hide, it will slow the story down and make it less romantic, I promise. Two, notice how happy the person is, then question it. Is the happiness blinding? Is the person they're with really as awesome as they're painting them out to be, everyone has flaws, don't seek them out, just observe. And three, my most favorite, you know that glossy eyed look you get when something is just really uninteresting? Do that. Maybe even start to fiddle with anything that happens to be around you. Check your text message on your phone while pretending to still be interested. Besides, your relationship just failed, they should be more sensitive.
- 4. Get rid of the evidence. Pictures of you and them, things they gave you, places you went to together, it's in the past now. Reminding yourself of it all the time will bring you nothing but tears and annoyance. Depending on the severity of the break up, I would get rid of it all. The less time you spend focusing on what you no longer have, the more time you have to go and create new memories. Unless it's something cool like a really great coffee mug. Then I'm sure you can look past its significance and thank them for leaving you with something you can use.
- 5. Stop staring at your phone. Staring at your phone will not make the person call you, besides you shouldn't want them to call. I know it's hard, but it would be better to just delete them, and maybe even turn your phone off throughout the day. Jedi mind tricks don't work with electronics.
- 6. Maintain no contact. The relationship is over, calling them with made up questions, or questions with no real importance should stop. Being needy and lingering is not cute. Take the power you've given them away and keep it for yourself, by not contacting you are showing, not only them but yourself that you mean business.
- 7. You are sooo amazing. Keep positive. Sure, you're alone, and really, is that so bad? Take the time to rediscover things that make you happy, don't believe that your happiness was that person, it wasn't. Maybe at one time that person aided in maintaining some kind of happiness in your life, but the happiness you felt was from reciprocated appreciation and love. Now, you just need to love yourself. It's completely cliché but when you understand loving yourself the world becomes a little bit brighter.
- 8. Regrets. Have none. It won't change the past, don't let it dictate your future.
- 9. The future. It's full of possibilities, new people, new places, new things, take it all in. All the world's a play and you are the star, work it with enthusiasm, love with the fierceness of the fires in hell, and always know that there is always the possibility of another heart break. Fear is for the weak, love is for the brave, and never trying leads to a very dull biography.
- 10. Friends. They told you so, but if they're good, they hate that they were right and if they're great they'll let you screw up again. Keep them close to your heart, because good friends know how to make you smile and stop you from crying. Great friends tell you why who you dated sucked, and when exactly you should have broken up with them. And if you're really lucky, they may even love you enough to go behind your back and post your ex's picture on a website warning the world about who they should avoid dating in the future.
So, the next time you see yourself going to that dark place, staying wrapped up in your comforter, and swearing off anything that would make you move from your bed. Open the curtains, let your eyes get use to the light and take yourself outside. People around the world are dying and your wasting time not living over someone that lost out on something amazing anyways...kind of dramatic, but I'm sure you see my point.